Last time I posted, I was not in a very good place. I went to the doctor and told her that I am tired all the time and I am not enjoying all of those little things that I should be. She added Prozac to my Wellbutrin. At first I felt like I was in a fog. I was completely disconnected and didn't give a crap about anything. Now, I feel better. more like myself. I'm alot happier and feeling stronger. I know that it is probably a temporary fix but I will take it for now.
So, with spring comes the lovely field trip time. April is a busy month!!! I get to go on an overnight field trip to the zoo with Zack. Of course I will be stuck in a room with a bunch of girls that I don't know. Yeah!!
The same week, Jake's class is going to Frankfort. That should be fun. I will know a lot of people on that one.
The following week, Carter's class is going to the museum center and the week after that, Peyton's class is going to Sun Rock farm! Whew!! I'm going to be worn out!!
I have to enjoy it now. I won't be long before they don't want me along on field trips.
I'm going to bake cookies with my smallest baby. :-)
Lets see how I feel after the Women of Joy conference this weekend.......
My Boys
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
random
Why does everything seem like a struggle? It seems like there has never been a point in my life when I wasn't fighting for something.
This depression/anxiety is taking over. It doesn't matter what I do. Meds aren't helping, Exercise isn't helping, Even the sun doesn't seem to help. I'm so sick of feeling like crap all of the time. I can't explain it to anyone either because no one seems to understand. Steve tries, basically because he is the only person I can talk to about it. I have tried to talk to other people and I usually get a bewildered look or an uncomfortable laugh. I just stopped trying as far as friends and the rest of my family are concerned.
I wish I could find the right therapist or medicine or combination of the two. I have had it with therapy. It doesn't do anything. The last one I went to just kept telling me to read books. If I wanted self-help books I wouldn't be paying for therapy!!! DUH! Then they made me see a different doc for meds. I am uncomfortable enough with telling a stranger all of my problems, don't make me do it twice.
I'm hoping that warm weather and flowers are on the way. Maybe if I can get outside...go hiking and camping, even swimming will be wonderful....just maybe I will feel better. I'm looking forward to summer break. I just hope the boys will find a way to get along with each other and it can be a pleasant summer. We already have a bunch of camping planned. All with friends and family so I know we will be having some fun.
I need help God! You are the only one who can give it to me. Please help me to shake the shadow that hangs over me and let me be happy. Help me to give Steve and the boys the wife and mother that they deserve. Not this grumpy pain in the butt they have been living with. Help me to be comfortable within myself and not feel like I'm always on the edge. Show me the way Lord.
This depression/anxiety is taking over. It doesn't matter what I do. Meds aren't helping, Exercise isn't helping, Even the sun doesn't seem to help. I'm so sick of feeling like crap all of the time. I can't explain it to anyone either because no one seems to understand. Steve tries, basically because he is the only person I can talk to about it. I have tried to talk to other people and I usually get a bewildered look or an uncomfortable laugh. I just stopped trying as far as friends and the rest of my family are concerned.
I wish I could find the right therapist or medicine or combination of the two. I have had it with therapy. It doesn't do anything. The last one I went to just kept telling me to read books. If I wanted self-help books I wouldn't be paying for therapy!!! DUH! Then they made me see a different doc for meds. I am uncomfortable enough with telling a stranger all of my problems, don't make me do it twice.
I'm hoping that warm weather and flowers are on the way. Maybe if I can get outside...go hiking and camping, even swimming will be wonderful....just maybe I will feel better. I'm looking forward to summer break. I just hope the boys will find a way to get along with each other and it can be a pleasant summer. We already have a bunch of camping planned. All with friends and family so I know we will be having some fun.
I need help God! You are the only one who can give it to me. Please help me to shake the shadow that hangs over me and let me be happy. Help me to give Steve and the boys the wife and mother that they deserve. Not this grumpy pain in the butt they have been living with. Help me to be comfortable within myself and not feel like I'm always on the edge. Show me the way Lord.
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